Interpersonal Conflict

There are six people sharing a dorm room in my home university. Three of us living left hand side are roommates when we are freshman. We have same living styles such as being quite and clean. Another three persons living in right hand side are close friends who like to do their homework which is making architecture models in the midnight.

Every time when they work on their model in the midnight, three of us can't fall sleep until they finished it. Besides, sometimes they made loudly noises when they got up early. In addition to their living styles which we can't deal with, they brought friend home for overstay twice a month. Three of us who are always tolerated these things but not communicate with them at all. Finally, the conflict burst out during final exam week. Both sides of us don't talk anymore. They started getting up really early and making noise for purpose. One of our friend started slammed the door when she went out. And me, at the end, got up when the noise raised and went out studying for avoiding these nervous moments.

I would say the main problem could be bad communication. Since everyone living in this room have their right to use it. No matter deciding being quite or doing projects lately. Final exam week may also contribute this outburst. Since everyone is under their pressure, and have no more tolerance for irritation. What we should improve may be we should tell them our sleep styles and all of us can decide how to get the balance especially in final exam week.

I think at the first time when they move into this room, we make our own group already. As a result, they may feel that we are not friendly people at all. Also, even when we disturbed by lately sleeping, we didn't tell them. They may not know what always we feel unhappy with them. They may think we had the feelings of hostility with them.

If we accumulate this kind of bad emotion for a long time, how should we have wise to say it out and don't hurt others feeling at the same time?

Effective Communication Skills

Effective communication skills are really important to me since I would like to be a counsellor as my career. To make counselling work, how to deal with the dynamics between a counsellor and a client by interacting is the most significant thing. Today, I would like to mention three skills about why effective communication is important to me as a counsellor.

In counselling environment, first of all, listening skills would be the first thing we concerned about. Not only every word the client said needs to be considerable, but also the gesture he post, the behaviour he show and he emotions he express unconditionally can tell a lots. When you "listen" all of these signal carefully, they can transmit what client really want to say. A good counsellor should draw a client's thought from his expression which is unconscious.

Second, in personal counselling, questioning is more important than telling skills. Because counselling put more emphasis on letting a client to figure out the his own solution than telling him how to solve the problem.To point out a good question can help a client to defined clearly what situation he is in. Also Asking good question can force a client to think the problem deeply and find his way to adopt difficulties.

Thirdly, in group counselling, telling skills play a big role. A counsellor need to create a safety and comfortable environment for those who join this group counselling by telling good stories. By doing this, helping clients feel they are not alone when they dealing with their hardships. At the same time, a good counsellor should let clients know they will achieve a common goal during this counselling worship.

In sum, being a counsellor, the most important thing you have to do is drawing clients' difficulties from communication. On the other hand, no matter listening, questioning or telling skills, any kind of effective communication skills could play important roles in counselling.